I had typed down most of everything last night so... Everything is based on yesterday, so when it says last night, I mean 2 days ago at night. Sorry for the inconvenience.
As you guys know, last night was a tough night.. And I kinda posted it up a bit too early.. I now know why she's been stressing so much and the gap between us had widened. I had made a mistake similar to one I made barely 2 weeks ago... And I caused her such pain... I didn't even know it, this just proves my ignorance.
Well, that was last night, and I wanted to make things at least a little bit better so I planned to leave my house at around 7.40 to meet her before she entered class at 8.... Unfortunately, I kind of overslept a tad bit, and left my house only at 7.50. By the time I had reached college at 7.57, she had already parked and entered her class. So I waited for 9.30, her break and met her.
Her class ended early so she was waiting outside her next class, and as I came unnoticed, I gave her a hug from behind. I'm not sure what she was thinking or feeling but I hope it at least made her feel more... Secured? I'm not sure.. But I didn't know what else I could do to make it up to her.
So yeah, after she entered her class, I set off on my journey to my degree orientation!
Heheh, funny story about this is that although its the degree i'm going to be taking, I crashed the intake before mine's orientation. I'm originally supposed to join in February, but entered the January's orientation. Alongside my pre-university friends, we survived the long day with relatively sufficient entertainment to keep us alive and made our way back home.
Shortly after I got back, I had a small snack before going to the gym with my best bud. We had Nandos for dinner and although he did something that I didn't like... (Refer to January 15th post)... I didn't show any signs of discomfort and let it slide because I didn't want to ruin our dinner. Our other best bud joined us before our food had arrived and we talked for quite a bit about random stuff.
Walked to their houses and talked to their mothers, and spent quite a bit of time discussing what and how to handle the 20th of January (her birthday). Yeah, i'm kind of stressing out not knowing where to have dinner.. I've got just over 3 more days to plan and I have yet to initiate the invitations...
Yeah, i'm a screw-up, but hey.. I'm doing my best... I really am... But for some reason, my best just isn't good enough. Don't get me wrong, the "not good enough" i'm talking about isn't just for her, but for myself as well because by disappointing her, i'm disappointing myself... A lot more than you may think...
So yeah moving on, I came home and she had something similar to a date with another guy friend. I'm being honest here when I say i'm okay with it, because she had told me already. Plus its not a date, its just a get-together with a close buddy of hers :). The only thing that makes me worry, is when she doesn't reply me after over an hour. Yeah I may seem like a stalker by checking her last seen every now and then, but if she has yet to come online then there's nothing to think about because she might be just having a good time and doesn't check her phone? That happens to everybody so I can't say much.
But when she comes online 1.5 hours after my last msg was sent, and goes offline again without replying me. Yes, that hurts. A lot. Of course, I can't expect much, so i'm telling myself to be patient because I did hurt her a lot more... She might just need time to settle in and hopefully forgive me..
Well, she came back and replied me and we started talking normally again for a while.
I guess things turned out alright in the end.. We managed to talk and she fell asleep soundly which placed my heart and mind at ease. :)
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